who’s in, who’s out

My drummer and I were having a conversation the other day. I brought up that when you ask people if they are going to come to your show, that the answer they give must be parsed: ‘yes’ means maybe, ‘maybe’ means no, and the rare person that actually comes out and says ‘no’ usually means no. Bart said that he has been in similar situations, especially with coworkers, and that when they go back to work Monday, they usually avoid eye contact with him. What is the deal here? I don’t mind the truth. Do people not want to hurt your feelings? It’s ok, I won’t cry.
PS- We’ve got a show at the Elbo Room November 11th (the day after my birthday). Also appearing are Gaba Gavi and Return of Simple. We are headlining at 11:15.